A Personal Experience of Top Regrets at Deathbed

By Bronnie Ware (who worked many years in palliative care)

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. 

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard. 

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. 

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier. 

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.

This made me thankful that I am in the financial advisory business and thankful for my loved ones who make everyday fun. How about you?

Original post here.

「留愛，不留債」影片完整版

There are few advertisements that illustrates the lost of a loved one in such a beautiful story. This is one that I love and touched me greatly, I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

How to raise financially smart children

As college tuition and student loan debt continue to soar and job growth for graduates looks sluggish in many fields, the guidance parents give their kids matters more than ever.

Your child’s right money habits, like many other things, also begins at home.

Parental example overall has “a significant influence on respondents’ money-management skills as adults”

With increasing affluence, parents’ tend to pamper their children more than ever. Somewhere down the line, money will seem to grow on trees to them. Teach your kids about money.

It starts with the ABCs:

A is for allowance, where a child earns a certain amount for doing a job.

B is for balance, where you tell kids that you don’t want to spend all of your money right away because there are things you want to save for.

C is for charity or contributions to causes the family cares about.

Get more tips on how to inculcate good money habits and attitudes to your child in this Reuters article.

IM$avvy – Why I worry about retirement

Many close friends who read my blog often label me as a salty man. This has a negative connotation because in Hokkien context, it is “kiam” or scrooge in western terms. However, when I explained my rationale to them, suddenly they realise they either be prepared to work past 55 or be better off being more salty.

In today’s competitive workplace, there are not many people who are willing to work past 55 years old, even if they are ABLE to. Perhaps it is due to the increased pace of life and work pressure, many people just find it too stressful to cope mentally and physically beyond 55 years old.

The problem is exacerbated when the same group has ailing parents, growing kids and mortgages to repay monthly.

Life becomes much more stressful, simply because they need to work or they die (from debts and poverty).

In a nutshell, most people don’t retire at 55 simply because they cannot afford to do so, not because they choose not to.

Banks lower interest for your deposits, Again!

Saving with the bank is already giving us every little interest. And now it will be even less, when the top 3 local banks have lowered interest rates on our deposits further to only 0.05%.

The new rates at OCBC Bank, United Overseas Bank and DBS Bank will become effective from Oct 1, Oct 12 and Oct 14 respectively. Standard Chartered will also lower their interest rates from 1 Nov 2011. Here is a table taken from DBS website.

Worryingly for savers, he added: ‘I don’t see any light of the tunnel for savers at the moment. Our interest rates are closely guided by international rates. And the downdraft is still occurring,’ he said.

From Business Times – What’s half of very little? New bank rates.

Hougang Constituency Education Trust (HGET)

I chanced upon this letter that was sent to the residents of Hougang encouraging applicants who can benefit from this education trust set up for needy students in Hougang.

I know of many bursary awards given out by corporate, organizations, clubs or charitable groups helping their employees or benefiting needy children. However, this is the first time I know the persons who actually made this HGET possible.

The Hougang Constituency Education Trust was formed in 1992 and was made possible with the support and help from five concerned Hougang residents namely Mr Toh Guan Chua, Mr Ng Thee Lim (Deceased), Mr Lim Leck Theng (Deceased), Mr Ang Kim Soon (Deceased) and Mr Phoon Song Ngh (Deceased).

I do not personally know who these 5 people are, but thank you for thinking of these children and I hope others can also do their part to help those who need our help.

Nursing teacher’s $250,000 gift to ITE

This post is a tribute to a great nurse and Samaritan – Ms Gwee Mui Boon.

The Straits Times story by Amelia Tan

MS GWEE Mui Boon worked as a nurse for nearly 40 years, and also taught student nurses as an instructor at the former School of Nursing and a nursing course manager at the Institute of Technical Education (ITE).

In her last days, as she battled ovarian cancer, she wanted to do even more for the profession she loved so deeply. As her final act of commitment to nursing, she bequeathed $250,000 of her life savings to ITE in her will. It will be used to set up awards for top nursing students.

Ms Gwee, who was single, died in April last year at the age of 58.

Last Saturday, her elder sister Gui Siew Boon presented ITE chief executive Bruce Poh with a cheque in a ceremony at ITE College East in Simei. Starting next year, two of its top nursing students every year will each receive $500 in cash and a medal.

Ms Gwee’s bequest is the largest that the institute has received from a current or former staff member.

Ms Gui, who is in her early 60s, told The Straits Times that her sister’s gift to ITE had surprised their family.

“She wanted to do more for nursing, and she always felt strongly for ITE students, many of whom come from low-income families. She wanted to make their journey easier,” said the retired senior executive.

Ms Gui said her sister discovered she had cancer in 2002, but she loved her job and was determined to work even while undergoing treatment.

She finally had to retire in 2008 as her health was deteriorating.

Before joining ITE, she was principal of the School of Nursing then run by the Ministry of Health. She also worked as a nurse at various hospitals.

Ms Gui said her sister set her heart on becoming a nurse after she was admitted to hospital with diphtheria, an upper respiratory tract disease. Then a teenager, she was cared for at the hospital by a kind-hearted nurse.

Ms Gui said her sister took up teaching after excelling at a midwifery course and being selected by her tutor to be a clinical instructor. She also went to Wales and Scotland for courses in nursing education.

Madam Mary Low, 64, a senior nursing lecturer at ITE who had known Ms Gwee for about 30 years, said: “She was very thrifty and would not spend extra money on clothes or shoes, but she was so generous when it came to helping her students – that was the kind of person she was. She was always thinking about others.”

One of five children, Ms Gwee was raised by her mother, who worked as a washerwoman. Her father died when she was young.

Ms Gui said:”‘We were brought up not to spend money unnecessarily. But I knew my sister felt strongly for her students – she would use her own money to pay for their meals when she knew they had no money.”

“It was my sister’s wish for the award to inspire and motivate nursing students, so they would continue their quest for further education and contribute conscientiously to their chosen profession.”

HK’s Convoy offers to buy IPP Financial Advisers for S$25m

Convoy Financial Services, the largest independent financial adviser firm in Hong Kong, is offering to buy Singapore’s IPP Financial Services Holdings, which is the parent company of IPP Financial Advisers, for S$25m in cash.

According to the agreement, the payment will be made in two tranches. The first tranche will be a maximum of S$10m, whilst the second tranche will be of a maximum of S$15m.

Under the terms of the sale, IPP Financial Services has guaranteed to generate net profits of at least S$4m in any four consecutive quarters within the 24-month period from 1 January 2012 to 31 December 2013.

In the event the profit guarantee is not met and there is a shortfall in such guaranteed consolidated after-tax net profit, the second tranche will be refunded to the Convoy in accordance with the agreed formula.

The net asset value of IPP Financial Services was approximately S$3.67m, by the end of last year. The firm recorded S$181,786 audited consolidated net loss after taxation and extraordinary items by the end of last year.

Find out at Professional Adviser Singapore and more details of the offer announced by Convoy Financial Services.

The Right Kind of Diversification

More and more, investors have been hearing that in order to be properly diversified, they need exposure to more asset classes than they previously had assumed. Instead of just stocks, bonds, and cash, many responsible financial writers and advisors–not to mention fund companies trying to pitch their latest wares–now suggest that a portfolio should also include some real estate and perhaps exposure to commodities as well. And of course, as in the past, you’re still told to include among the stocks some smaller companies as well as large, international (and make sure to own emerging markets), and domestic–and both growth and value.

Some investors have responded by owning more and more funds. But the result can be a sprawling, unmanageable portfolio of 20 or 30 funds or more. Others, especially in retirement plans, take the opposite course: They toss up their hands and own just one fund, a target-date vehicle or similar option that provides diversification all on its own.

With more choices, naturally comes greater confusion.  However, the proliferation of funds need not lead to confusion or overstuffed portfolios. This article from Morningstar points out the importance of investing through diversification – To Meet your Goals. Read more on The Right Kind of Diversification.

Update: New link of the article.

Here’s why those New Year resolutions are so hard to keep

Old Habits die hard. Bad Habits die harder:

http://www.todayonline.com/World/EDC110105-0000193/Heres-why-those-New-Year-resolutions-are-so-hard-to-keep-,,,

“Why are bad habits stronger? You’re fighting against the power of an immediate reward,” says Dr Nora Volkow, director of the National Institute on Drug Abuse and an authority on the brain’s pleasure pathway. “We are hard-wired that way, to give greater value to an immediate reward as opposed to something that’s delayed.”

This is the same for bad financial habits. Short-term, “immediate” gains are often favored for long-term, “delayed” gains. Temptation is often hard to fight and bad habits difficult to change.

Says Prof Nordgren: “People have this self-control hubris, this belief they can handle more than they can.”

How then can one stop from repeating bad financial habits? Will professional financial advise be useful?

I think so. and that is just one of the many things everyone should have – A financial ally by their side.

Maybe add “Find my financial ally” in 2011 list.